Monday, yes Monday

Not much going on with me these days, just haning in there and being very thankful and blessed.  Everytime I think about why I had to move to Chapel Hill, why I did not get to go to New York, why I am not buying any Christmas gifts, why I eat everything in my frig and pantry before I go to the grocery, why I never eat out anymore --- I stop myself, bow my head (unless I am driving) and stop to be thankful.  Thankful I have a roof over my head, thankful I can walk, thankful I have wonderful family and friends who care about me as much as I care about them, thankful for a job and a car to get me there.  Even though I have been sick recently with fluid in one ear, bronchitis, possible strep and sinusitis, I have insurance.   Even through a mini breakdown (as I call it --- not pretty) I knew I was blessed by the best --HIM. And during that time of turning it all over to the ONE who loves me no matter what, I know with faith and hard work that HE will help me through this financial crisis.   I really have learned through prayer that it will take awhile (I don't say long time anymore), but it will happen.    When you don't have cable,  you read and sew more.   You look around and think of all the things that are wonderful.   When you have a longer drive to work, you notice the simple things in life and what is raelly important.   Without my family and friends and HIM, I am nothing.  My Southern Hills family mean so much to me, I love being with them.  
Last week I thought I had a flat tire, sat down and cried while I waited for my brother to come.  Then I remembered, wipe away the tears, I have a brother who will come out at 5:45 in 18 degree weather to see if I have a flat tire.   No more tears.   Yes, I was sick, but I am much better now.   No cable, go to a free craft fair, read, do some sewing, take a nap (I was sick).  The one thing I kept thinking was soon it will be Sunday and I will be with family at Southern Hills,  to worhip HIM, sing praises to HIM and get ready for another week.   Yes, today is Monday and I am at work, on my lunch break,  because I have a job.  
I am truly blessed.    Count your blessings.  

Fall --- my favorite time of the year!!

Centerville TN 10-15-10

between Centerville and Hohenwald   10-15-10

Hohenwald, TN   10-15-10

Natchez Trace

                                                   view from my front porch........ahhhhhh

25 years!!!!!!!

How do I know this is mine????

                                            Because it says so!!!!!!

Monday Musings

Well, I posted something on Friday but it never showed up!!!
Things are going well,  settled in to home at Chapel Hill --- again this will not be a "rest of my life" home.  But 1-2 years to get caught up financially.  The drive isn't bad ---gas is cheaper in CH and that is a good thing because it is taking twice as much gas for work, church, etc. 
I was off for a few days and spent some time in Lewisburg --- wne to the Library- wonderful.   Old Rink Emporium - interesting.  Square - quaint. 
Came back to work on thursday and had some much work to do I just got that caught up before I stopped for lunch.
Wanted to go to Ohio, but couldn't make that trip.
Yesterday had a wonderful day and evening service at SH.   Just love those people.
Pictures to follow soon, maybe.

Thursday's thoughts

Okay, the move is over and everything is going great.  The drive is a little long but some people have to drive further to their jobs than I do.   It really puts the miles on the car, but we have cars to get us here and there and back.   Right now I am not getting good gas mileage so I will have my car checked and the tires to see if that helps.   I can see the shadow of a light somewhere down the tunnel financially.   Won't be tomorrow or next month but it will finally come.   I cannot believe how much better I sleep!!! What a plus!
And, how cool is this?   Mr and Mrs C gave me some fresh vegetables --- wonderful.  Then last night Mrs C came over to see if I wanted to go walk with her; unfortunately, I had taken an early shower and asked her to please ask me again.   Wonderful long drive to the barn and back -- great for walking.  No, they never bother me, I never hear them coming or going, but I know they are there if I need them.   Of course I know my former landlord was and will always be there for me.  
Steroid epidurals are helping tremendously and only one more to go!   going back to JoAnn's one night per week --- gas and an occasional meal out.  

I did take some before pictures and will take some after and post them later.  


Until next time . . . . . .Prayer is asking for rain.  Faith is carrying an umbrella.

........go! There.

Okay the move was Saturday, yes, the hottest day of the year so far.   Thanks to Norman, Laff, Liz, Emily, Susan, Walt, Jeanna, Caleb, Zach and Kelsey.   I could not have done it without ALL of you.   98% of everything is put away (except pictures).  Monday morning leave for work --- not out of the driveway-- flat tire!   Norman comes and puts on the small spare and I head to Franklin to Moody's.   Leave for work early ---takes three hours to get to work!!!   Tuesday I am off --- Emily and I notice water in the shop.   Yep --- AC is frozen - bad!   No air in the house Tuesday night ----88 degrees, three fans in my room and finally I put some ice packs in the bed!!!.   I sure hope I can turn the AC back on when I get home or I will be going further in Chapel Hill to sleep at Emily's.  Still no home phone or TV, but all will come together.  
 I can do this. . .  I can do this. . . .  Financially I have to do this, it won't happen overnight but there is light in my future.  

Until next time . . . . When we're able to relinguish all our problems, all our worries and all our sins to the Lord, we are free to live the guilt-free lives He planned for us. 

Ready, set . . . .

Boxes, boxes everywhere.   The move is on........
Trying to keep things separated --- house vs stoarge unit --- can't pack this yet --- so many last minute things. 
Excited, nervous, let's get it over with .......

Had first steroid epidural injection last week,  went well, big improvement,  next injection Aug 4.  
Taking time off from JoAnn's until after the injections and then may just work one night per week --- longer distance =extra gas calls for extra money. 

Until next time  . . . . Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent. 

Friday Fretting

Okay, the move is on -- lots of boxes packed.  Many more boxes to pack.  Why do I worry about everything little thing.   Wasted time spent worrying.   Much cheaper rent, but getting everything else set up is ridiculous -- the phone (cell phone won't work inside house), PO Box (done), Direct TV --- well, that brings another worry - again --- the delapidated entertainment center.   Just one more move!  Last worry --- groceries --- trying not to go to the store until I move, but then with so many expenses for the move ---just a vicious circle.  

The Spears family made it back home late last night after ten days WEST!!!  Seems everyone had a great time but the best of all was coming home.  Always is.  I can't wait to see the pictures,  I think about the half way point of their trip Emilly told me Susan had made over 500 pictures!!!  They posted on Facebook some mobile uploads along the way that were awesome.  

I am giving up the part time job at JoAnns ---- not helping the leg numbness standing for 5+ hours, too far to drive once I move late at night and cutting hours anyway.   And most of all,  I am missing a lot of time from Southern Hills family. 

Tuesday I start the steroid epidural injections. 90% of the people I have talked to that have received them has had great results anywhere from 1-10 years.  What a relief! 

Wednesday's Wisdom

Okay,   I have a little time on my hands waiting for patients to be seen so we can scrub and enter the charges for month end -- fiscal year end.   I do have a job, and certainly a job I like. 

I will be moving to Chapel Hill the end of July into a "mother's house".   Really, really downsizing!   One bedroom, big bathroom, kitchen and living room.  $300 less a month than what I am paying now, no utilities.  Yes that is right, no utilities -- except land line phone because a cell will not work in the house -- I can go outside to talk.   No deposit, no lease. 
I hope my furniture makes the move okay.  My entertainment center is way gone beyond another move.  But I still have the big old TV with the huge back and you just cannot find an entertainment center for those anymore --- well, one that I can afford anyway.  But they really are hard to find also. 
I have lived in Williamson County all my life until July 31 --- watch out Marshall County.   I will be much closer to Emily --- but she is always so busy  -- but we will both know each other is close by. 
I also looked at a little house in College Grove  --2br 1ba, completely remodeled.   The bathroom was extremely small and NO storage.  It was only $100 less plus utilities. 

I am looking forward to this new adventure and can't wait to save some money to travel!!!!
NYC, Chicago, Vegas, Charleston, Savannah --- oh the places I could go.  

Until next time----- do you think things happen for a reason?

Friday's random thoughts

I have been looking at different apts/houses to rent -- not fun.   Do I go to Chapel Hill and have a longer drive which is okay except when I am working the second job and do not leave until 10:00?  Do I go to Spring Hill ---$75 less per month rent, little longer drive.  Can I really live in an apartment with someone lving above me????  Yes, I would want a ground level ---1) bad back and kness aren't getting any younger and 17 steps in my townhouse is a bit much when you are tired and aching; but 2) what about security with ground level.  I am not running from my financial problems just trying to finacially think things through.   How do you get the money for deposit, moving electricity, etc?   Think Gayle think.   More importantly PRAY.  When I can finally turn it all over I know the answer will come. 

Until next time. . . . . . . Somewhere I read that for every single thing that goes wrong in our lives, we have fifty to one hundred blessings.  What we need to do is learn to identify those blessings and spend more time counting---and being thankful for them.  

Blog no more....(for awhile anyway)

In this time of financial distress (for me) I have elected to have internet disconnected at home, and also my home phone.   It will be hard, but for me it was time for drastic measures financially.   Back to pen and paper for journaling.   That is not to say I will not be checking in on everyone from time to time --lunch hours, library or sometime when I have computer access somewhere with WIFI --- that is the good thing about having a laptop.  
It was a hard day yesterday with a lot of prayer and phone calls, but this is one way to cut back.  

Monday Musings

Ants, ants, ants and more ants!!!!

I know they are small, very small, but I hate them!!!

Last year (perhaps around this time)  I noticed some ants in my kitchen.  I have seen houses with much worse problems than mine, but these were in MY house.  
I filled a small spray bottle with some bleach and I went after the little things --- all around the edge of the floor all over my kitchen.  Done.   It worked,  well -- I would see one every now and then for a couple of days and I would shoot them with my bleach bottle!!!! No problems until . . . . . . .  .
NOW.  
First sighting was Friday night by the door.  Poured a little bleach, gone.   Then Saturday I went to put it/take out something from the storage room.  My white door was black on the inside with ants.  Ants, mind you!!! on the concrete flooring --fields of ants.   I grab my bottle of bleach and cannot find my little spray bottle. 
I am determined  so I just start pouring, splashing bleach everywhere. 
The ants are still winning!!!   I am out of bleach now..... okay what can I use.  Not this.  Not this.  I find an old spray bottle with a little Fantastick in it.  But it doesn't last long.  the ants are still winning !!! Okay,  got it --- I have some really cheap Pine Sol stuff.  I mean it is so strong it will clear your sinuses with one whiff across the room.    I mix about a 10:1 with water (guess which is 10) and go after the creepy things.  Between the bleach (which got a bunch of them until I ran out), Fantastick , just did not have enough. 
The cheap cleaner is working but there are just sooooo many of them. 

Sunday morning finds me again on the attack --- even pouring some of the cleaner around the edge of the patio.  Sorry environmentalist --- but we are talking tons of ants.  Sunday afternoon I go in for another battle -- inside the kitchen (only about ten in three days),  the patio, the door to storage, the inside of the strorage door and the floor of the storage unit.   YIKES!!!!  
Now tonight I will not get home until after ten,  but little things look out tomorrow morning --- I am back on duty!!! 
I hate any kind of crawling thing no matter the size.  (except babies of course)
You know it is like I can feel them crawling on me as we speak.  I have slapped my arm silly the last three days thinking there was an ant on it.  

Until next time . . . . .Someone has equated laughter with changing a baby's diaper.  "It doesn't change things permanently, but it makes everything OK for awhile. 

(but I want the ants gone forever!!!)

Wednesday Wisdom

Someone sent this to me this morning and it is soooo true.  What amazed me more was this someone --- I was not too sure how she felt about anything religious, but she like many has had her fair share of trials, heartache, sadness and good things, too.  This tells me how she feels....

Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a
       small amount when you go shopping?
Isn't it strange how 2 hours see, so long when you are at church and how short they seem when you are
       watching a good movie?
Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say when you are praying, but you have no trouble thinking what
       to talk about with a friend?
Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to read one chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100
      pages of a popular novel?
Isn't it strange how everyone wants front row tickets to concerts or games, but they do whatever is possible
     to sit at the last row in church?
Isn't it strange how we need to know about an event for church 2-3 weeks before the day so we can inclue it
     in our agenda, but we can adjust it for other events in the last minute?
Isn't it strange how difficult it is to lean a fact about God to share it with others, but how easy it is to learn,
     understand, extend and repeat gossip?
Isn't it strange how we believeeverything that magazines and newspapers say, but ....we question the words
     in the Bible?
Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place in heaven, but they do not want to believe, do or say anything
     to get there?
Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mails and they are forwarded right away, but when we are
     doing to send messages about God, we think about it twice before we share it with others?
Isn't it strange. ....


Until next time  .. .. . .(enough said)

Monday Musings

Long time no blog --- so much going on in my head.  

May 1 and May 2 middle Tennesse hit by heavy rains and flooding -- flood of the century.  Loss of lives, homes, land. 

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I still miss my Mother after eight years.  I know so many that this was their first Mother's Day without their Mother and they were certainly in my prayers. 

I am now working two jobs --- not as easy as when I was in my twenties, thirties and even forties.  But we do what we have to do.  It won't happen overnight (the financial bind) but it will certainly help to get to that time when things will be right again.  No trip to NY as planned in December.  But hopefully a trip to Chicago in the spring.  Patience is not one of my virtures. 

It was good to be back at Southern Hills yesterday after attending Crieve Hall last week with Uncle Benton after his surgeries. 
Southern Hills, yes.  Going home. 
After attending Millview for so many years (even as a child) I used to think there could be no place like it.  It is still a great congregation.  But making the decision to change  almost four years ago was still the best thing I ever did for me.  Many times over I have thankful for this change. 

More to come later . . . . .

Until next time ... Life isn't always what we want, but it's what we got.  so, with God's help, choose to be joyful.

Wednesday Wisdom

My best friend just forwarded this to me today in an email.... and it is soooooo true!

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter tummy.   As I've aged I have become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend. . .I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need but looks so avante garde on my patio.  I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. 
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. 
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old. 
I know I am sometimes forgetful, But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.  And I eventually remember the important things. 
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?  But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enout to have my hair turned gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my fact.  
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. 
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.  You care less about what other people think.  I don't question myself anymore . . .
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So to answer your question, I like being old.  It has set me free.  I like the person I have become.  I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.  And I shall eat desset every single day (if I feel like it). 
May our friendship never come apart especially when it is straight from the heart!!

Thanks Dianne for sending this. 

Beach Trip March 2010

Emily, sorry you had to be in meetings most of the time; but really all Susan and I did was relax and it was wonderful. 

(sorry you have to turn you head to look at this one)

Emily and Susan on the balcony of our room at the Wyndham. 

Awesome View!!!!

This was made from the car!  We were afraid we were going to miss the sunset before we got back to our room. 

Another view from the car.......

calm, relaxing, no worries for four days.......

We were back at the Wyndham and on the balcony for this.   We watched it slowly go "into" the water.

Rub-a-dub-dub --- three girls in a tub!!!

Oh yes, we were!!!

(we had been walking on the beach late that night and our feet were black!)

(the sand was white)

Another view from our balcony.

And, yes I did get off the balcony.  

We slept with the doors open at night to hear the ocean all night ---

but it got so cold, too!

This is the rough water on Sunday before we left.  Two red flags were out --- no one near the water!!

When you see the news of a hurricane coming in, that is what it looked like -- the palm trees were bending way over from the strong winds, it was cold.  EEERRRYYY feeling.  But just a storm blowing in, no hurricane. 

An 8 hour drive home became 12 hours because of traffic with spring breakers trying to leave at the same time. 

All in all --- the trip was worth it.   Time spent with two wonderful nieces who still amaze me. 

Almost time . . . .

In less than twenty-four hours I SHOULD be on the road to the beach.  Should being the key word here.   I will be ready, but will Emily and Susan?   Emily and I are ready to leave tonight, but poor Sissy Bug doesn't know what time she will get off work.  I hope the weather stays nice for the drive and while we are there.  If not,  I have three books to take with me.   Will I read or will I people watch?  
I just flipped my calendar over and below is the quote for today --- very appropriate for someone leaving on a beach trip with her much younger nieces!!!

Life is an adventure.   Hang on to your hat and scream for all you're worth.  

What would your answer be?

When two of your nieces invite you to go to Panama City Beach with them what do you do? Well, you wait about half a second and say Yes, I want to go.  (now forget that Saturday I might have just said I want to go to the beach in a somewhat pitiful voice).  Emily is going for something with Athletic Training Association and to earn CEUs and Susan and I, well, Susan and I are just going to be beach bums.  It will be a short trip, but a trip none the less.  Thursday through Sunday --- and the only downside --- spring break week for a lot of people.   The last time I was in PCB was 1986, so I am excited about all the changes that have been made. 
My favorite beach is still Hilton Head and Gulf Shores, but a beach bum for three days -- any ol' beach will do.  I am sooo excited. 

Ahhhh. . . . .

. . . . . .wonderful weekend weather spilling over into Monday!  A wonderful weekend it was.   I met Liz and Susan in Spring Hill for the craft fair and dinner.  Dany's sermon on Sunday was wonderful accompanied by some spectacular song selections and singing.   A cook out for lunch and afternoon of talk with the Chadwells and back to church for another round of wonderful singing.   What a way to start the week. 
Weather is great,  walking after work, time to clear my head! 
 I finished reading Summer Lane Series, by Beverly Lewis.  Now I have started The Lost Quilt, by Jennifer Chiavierni. 
Until next time . .  . . .I Believe...


That we don't have to change friends if

We understand that friends change.

Thinking on a Tuesday

Today is Tuesday and I am just thinking. . . . .  .
I am thinking I am ready for Spring (even though Fall is my favorite), I am tired of the cold temperatures.
I am thinking of how blessed I am with family and friends, a good job, health, a home and I really cannot complain about anything.  Just don't ask my sister how many phone calls she gets from me whining!!!
I am thinking I would like to go to Gatlinburg for a weekend. 
I am thinking I need a beach trip, it has been three years since I went to the beach.
I am thinking I would LOVE to go back to New York soon. 
I am thinking I think too much some times. 

What have I read recently?   Even more Debbie MacComber!!
Between Friends and Navy Wife 
 and now I am reading:  Summer on Blossom Street. 

Until next time . . . . . .

I believe that just beacuse two people argue, it does not mean they do not love each other. And just because they do not argue, it does not mean they do love each other.

Handbook for 2010

Health
1.  Drink plenty of water.
2.  Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3.  Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4.  Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5.  Make time to pray.
6.  Play more games
7.  Read more books than you did in 2009.
8.  Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9.  Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily.  And while you walk, smile. 

Personality
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts about things you cannot control.  Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do.  Keep your limits.
14. don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Fream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past.  Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past.  That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is toos hort to waste time hating anyone.   Don't hate others.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
21. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.  Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra classes but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.....

Society
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick,  Your friends will, stay in touch.

Life
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of everything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, get dressed and show up.
37. The best is yet to come . . . . . .
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your inner most is always happy.  So, be happy. 
40. You are loved. 

All is well. . . . .

All is well . . . . yes it is.  We often hit bumps and dips and hopefully we learn from them and hopefully we never stop learning. 

Helen was discharged from Rolling Hills yesterday and seemed soooo much better.  An old laugh was back.  It was hard.  Saturday I think she was very against it all after I left but finally decided not to work against it.  She knows it is not over, it is a work in progress.  As we sat there Saturday she wondered what the rooms were like--- my comment was -- like the Hilton.  She was quick to tell me yestereday that it was not the Hilton. 

Nest post I promise will be light, uplifting and fun.   Take care and love to all. 

Until next time. . . . .God always the his best to those who leave the choice with him.

Disclaimer ... .

Disclaimer:  remember this blog is mostly just my journal,   writing typing my thoughts and that is exactly what this one is. Boring thoughts.   I warn you now.
Jan 3, 1998 I thought was the hardest day of my life - the day of my father's funeral. Could anything be harder?
Sept 2000 then taking my mother to the nursing home.  Could anything be harder?
Dec 6,2001 my mother's funeral.  I can handle anything.  Can I? 

Gayle thinks God is AWESOME and ever more power in prayer and there is something to be said for pray without ceasing (like from 2 A.M. until you finally decide to wake your sister up at 6:45).  Yes, He was there with me every toss and turn.

In the past 24 hours I have received an urgent email from Kansas wanting my phone number to help a relative who was possibly sucidial.  Yes, I can see this in this person and especially considering what she has been through in the past few months. Someone who has not been so stable in some ways for a very long time.  The daughter from Kansas has done a lot for being so far away by calling the suicide hotline for signs and what to do and callilng Rolling Hills Hospital here.  She was not getting any help from her brother who is right here!  After work I go by the restaurant where she works and spent some time talking to her and ate dinner with her.  In conversation with the daughter plans are made to take her to Rolling Hills this morning. 
I arrive at her house and am a little concerned because there was suppose to be someone spending the night with her but there was no other car there....but when I get to the front door it opens and Helen says she is ready.  She is ready for help.  Can you hear me finally breathe? The 2 mile drive to Rolling Hills seems to take forever.  About 90 minutes later she comes out and says they want to admit her but she wants to "take care of some things at home first".  They let her leave with me,  understanding that I will stay with her the whole time.   We arrive back about an hour later and finally she is taken and admitted.   We hug and shed a few tears but knowing it is tears that things are going to be better.  A big step taken, a long walk ahead and all uphill.  I am hoping most of this was due to some medications but it has to be taken care of. 

I have counted my blessings so many times this morning and thankful that I KNOW a loving and caring Father who does care and listen.  

Happy New Year 2010

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2010!  

Blogging for me will me out for awhile due to computer problems, but will update when possible.

Back to the doctor on Mon Jan 4th,  keep you fingers crossed that when this cast is removed another is not applied! And not a boot either!   But I do have legs to have casts. 

I just completed "The Perfect Christmas" by Debbie Macomber. 

Until next time . . . . .Blessed is he who, having nothing to say, refrains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.